


Take a Moment to Think of Just...

by SilverScribe



Series: Changing Tides [3]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Background Relationships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Trauma, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gem Fusion, Hurt/Comfort, background connverse - Freeform, barn mates, but mostly lapidot, but there was enough that I felt it warranted a relationship tag, lapidot - Freeform, some background mystery pearl too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverScribe/pseuds/SilverScribe
Summary: At the invitation of Steven and Connie, Lapis decides to attend Beach City Winterfest with Peridot. Everything goes surprisingly well until a certain incident with fusion brings up some unpleasant memories for Lapis. Or how Lapis and Peridot learn a little bit more about flexibility, love and trust.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look... More Lapidot. Who would have guessed? XD
> 
> This is my winter/holidayish themed contribution to the season and the conclusion to my first fic series. You don't need to have read the first two fics in this series to understand or enjoy this one, but some references will go over your head. :)
> 
> Also of note, this is canon divergent as of "Raising the Barn".
> 
> Chapter 2 and 3 are already finished, Chaper 2 will be uploaded later tonight and Chapter 3 will go live sometime Christmas day!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

It was snowing again. Lapis stared up into the white-grey morning sky from her spot on the barn roof, stretched out leisurely on her back with her hands behind her head as the flakes slowly collected in her cerulean locks and all across her still, blue form. Was it winter again already? It seemed like just yesterday when the first green shoots of the crops Lapis had planted with Peridot started to come in with the spring. Although from a gem’s immortal perspective it pretty much was yesterday Lapis mused, but the passage of time still felt off to her somehow. Like so many of her...challenges, she presumed this stemmed from her time in the mirror.

But she wasn’t going to think of that right now. She wasn’t trapped in the mirror anymore. She wasn’t in a self-imposed prison at the bottom of the ocean… She was home. Home with Peridot and Pumpkin and her new life on Earth. With a firm shake of her head to dispel her melancholy reflections Lapis stood up on the roof and stretched through a particularly long yawn. Maybe she’d take a nap, this was sleepy weather after all.

“Lapis! We have guests!” A voice called from below. Lapis peared down to see Peridot walking towards the barn from the direction of the warp pad, behind her a trio followed. Lapis raised a questioning eyebrow as she identified the visitors. Steven, Connie and Amethyst.

So much for her nap.

Lapis stretched her wings out and gently alighted to the barnyard below to greet their guests, and find out what could have brought the trio here together. Pumpkin beat her to it though as she came running out of the barn interior, her little legs kicking up snow everywhere, to see their visitors. Amethyst glowed briefly as the little one charged and then shifted into a small purple version of Pumpkin, Pumpkin was delighted and the two of them immediately started rolling in the snow. Lapis couldn’t help but laugh at their antics as she walked up to the group.

“Yo B-Berry, you finished that last volume of _Pretty Hairstylist_ yet? I _have_ to talk about it or I’m gonna crack,” Pumpkin-Amethyst asked from atop a squirming Pumpkin who she’d playfully pinned in the snow.

“Don’t you dare, I’m only halfway through and if you spoil it I’ll put you in a timeout bubble until spring,” Lapis threatened with a glare at Amethyst, but the grin on her lips took any sting out of the words. Amethyst started to respond but laughed in surprise when Pumpkin jostled her off and resumed their play battle. Good girl, Lapis thought as she turned her attention to Peridot and the others.

“Lapis, Steven and Connie have an invitation of sorts for us that I believe may raise your interest,” Peridot said, moving to stand by Lapis and clasp her hand, her viridescent features practically glowing with excitement.

“Oh? Invitation to what?” Lapis asked as she gave Peridot’s hand a squeeze and turned to the two children.

“Beach City Winterfest!” Steven exclaimed, throwing his hands out to the side while Connie handed Lapis a flyer.

“It’s another odd human ritual. This one seems to be a celebration of the Earth’s tilt causing its northern hemisphere to move away from its parent star for a set period of time resulting in the titular winter. In this division of the planet at least. It’s a strange cause for merriment, but it seems enjoyable nonetheless,” Peridot explained as Lapis looked over the flyer with an indulgent grin while she listened. Lapis loved it when Peridot went all nerd on her.

Bold letters proclaimed “Beach City Winterfest! Mr. Universe returns for one day only accompanied by the amazing band, The Crystal Gems! Come out and celebrate the season with Mr. Universe and the Crystal Gems!” Under the headline was a picture of Steven’s dad on stage with the Gems, snow falling all around them. It was obviously hand-drawn by Steven and it was adorable. Lapis couldn’t help but laugh again, Steven’s enthusiasm practically leapt off the paper. “Nice drawing Steven,” she complimented as she handed the flyer back to Connie.

“So you’ll come?” the curly haired boy asked cheerfully.

Lapis’ smile slipped for a moment as she thought about it. She wasn’t sure if she was a party type of person honestly. “Will there be a lot of people there?” she asked while giving Peridot’s hand another slight squeeze, one that was immediately returned.

“Well, it depends on your definition of a lot. But all of Beach City will probably be there,” Connie answered as she tried to organize the stack of flyers with her mittened hands.

“I don’t know…” Lapis answered hesitantly. She wasn’t sure she’d enjoy being around a bunch of loud, rowdy humans.

“Lapis I believe this would be an excellent opportunity for us to further integrate ourselves into our new home, our understanding can’t be complete without participating in human culture,” Peridot said, continuing on in lecture mode. “And...and I think it would be a beneficial experience for you Lapis,” she added in a softer tone.

“Please Lapis? You’ll have fun I promise,” Steven added.

“Yeah, you can’t turn down an invitation from a fellow Crystal Temp can you? Besides, you and Peridot can treat it like a date,” Connie chimed in, smiling up at Lapis with a cheeky grin.

Peridot stiffened at Lapis’ side as soon as the words left Connie's mouth and her face went bright teal as she stammered through several almost sentences in response. Lapis couldn’t help but let out a snort filled giggle at Peri’s flustered reaction. Peridot was still getting used to everyone knowing about them and it was cute. Garnet had been right after all, as usual, they couldn’t keep it a secret forever. Still, she felt like her fellow Crystal Temp deserved a little payback for embarrassing Peri.

“Oh, a date?” she said, leaning down with the most innocent smile she could manage plastered across her azure face. “Well since you and Steven are going we can make it a double-date right? I mean you two are dating too.” That wiped the smirk right off Connie’s now darkening face and made poor Steven flush bright pink.

“Oh ho ho ho! And Blue with the turnaround! Up high Blueberry,” Amethyst said with a laugh, returning to her usual form in a flash of violet light with Pumpkin now resting atop her messy mane of white hair. Lapis slapped Amethyst’s proffered palm with her own and offered the shorter gem a grin for the praise.

“Does that mean you’ll come?” Connie asked in a low growl, glaring up at Lapis. But there was no real resentment in it.

“Yeah, come on Lappy. You know P-Dot won’t have nearly as much fun without you there. Live a little. Besides, you get to see me kill it at the drums,” Amethyst added.

“Well, when you put it like that how can I say no?” Lapis finally relented. Steven let out a resounding cheer at that.

* * *

Two snow filled days later found Lapis and Peridot rummaging around the barn in preparation for the festival that would officially kick off in just over an hour. Well Peridot was rummaging, Lapis was pacing and gnawing at her lower lip as she wrestled second thoughts about agreeing to this whole mess.

“Are you sure Pumpkin is going to be alright with just your drones looking after her?” Lapis asked. It was a genuine concern—It was!—nevermind that it would make a credible excuse for Lapis to skip the festival.

“Of course, why wouldn’t she be?” Peridot replied, her voice somewhat muffled by the cardboard box her head was currently buried in as she continued to mumble to herself about whatever it was she was looking for.

“Maybe you’ve forgotten Peri-berry but not that long ago one of your flying toasters flew in here and spontaneously combusted,” Lapis deadpanned, giving Peridot’s backside a level stare. Peridot popped out of her box, a light shade of teal rising in her cheeks at the reminder as she turned to face Lapis.

“Yes, well, I have since corrected that malfunction. No need for concern.”

Lapis continued to stare.

“Every drone has also been equipped with a flame retardant foam capsule that will detonate in the event of an unforeseen combustion. A failsafe. Veggie and the barn will be fine Lapis. I promise.”

Lapis let out a small huff at that, her potential excuse snatched away by Peridot’s sincerity, so she blew her bangs out of her eyes and finally accepted her fate. She was going to the festival, might as well get on with it. “What are you looking for anyway?” she asked Peridot, ending her pacing and walking over to stare down into the large box her barn mate had jumped back into.

“These!” Peridot abruptly cried, her voice ringing in triumph, as she extricated herself from the box. In her hand were two long, thick pieces of cloth. Scarves, if Lapis remembered right.

“What are those for?” Lapis asked, raising an eyebrow as Peridot began wrapping one around her neck.

“It is human custom to wear garments such as these during the winter months as a way to protect themselves from the cold. I thought they’d be appropriate attire for today’s activities,” Peridot explained, holding out the second scarf to Lapis as she did so.

“We’re not exactly bothered by cold weather Peri, we’re gems remember?” Lapis said, the corners of her mouth twitching up into the beginnings of a smile as she took the garment from Peridot.

“I’m well aware but I believe it would be a prudent display nonetheless considering we’ll be in human company. I also wanted...I thought it’d be nice if we wore thematically appropriate attire together,” Peridot added, a light blush rising in her cheeks as she fiddled with the end of her scarf.

“You wanted us to match?” Lapis asked, a full blown smile spreading across her face at Peri’s admission as she examined her scarf. It was striped with alternating bands of blue and green running down its length. Their colors. Her smile deepened as she wrapped it loosely around herself.

“Yes,” Peridot said in a small voice. Her blush growing.

“Peridot, your are the cutest gem I’ve ever met,” Lapis said softly as she bent slightly at the waist to plant a gentle kiss over Dot’s gemstone. “You ready to go?”

“I...I believe we have made all the necessary preparations for this outing, shall we make our way to the warp pad?” Peridot responded, not even bothering to protest being labeled as cute this time. Lapis grinned. She really knew she’d gotten to Dot when that didn’t get a rise out of her.

“Nah, I’ve got a better idea.”

“Such as?”

“Such as this,” Lapis replied as watery wings burst from her back. In one fluid motion she leaned down and wrapped her arms around Peridot’s torso, pulling her into a sort of improvised hug as she scooped her up into the air

“La-Lapis what are you doing!” Peridot yelped as she wrapped her arms and legs around Lapis’ neck and waist respectively.

“Taking you on a date my dashing Dot, I’m driving,” Lapis answered as she flexed her wings and drifted towards the barn door. She hovered there for a moment, looking down at a half asleep Pumpkin all curled up in a pile of blankets. “Behave while your Lapis and Peridot are out Pumpkin, listen to the Peri-drones. Unless they catch on fire, then run,” Lapis advised. The only response she received was a yawn from Pumpkin and a long-suffering sigh and eye roll combo from Peridot. With that Lapis wrapped her arms firmly around Peridot’s hips and launched herself and her girlfriend into the chill early morning air of a powder blue sky.

“Laaaaaapis!” Peridot shrieked at the sudden acceleration, tightening the grip of her legs and arms around Lapis and burying her face into the crook of her neck. It felt...nice. Close and comforting, like she was needed, but not suffocating. She flared her wings and came to a stop high above their barn.

“It’s okay Dot, I’m not going to drop you. You fly around on a garbage lid all the time, that’s way more dangerous than flying Lapis Airlines,” the blue gem teased as she rubbed comforting circles across her companions back with one arm and supported her weight with the other.

“Yes, the difference being _I’m_ in control of the flight and my flying capabilities are impeccable,” Peridot retorted, nevertheless she relaxed her hold on Lapis.

“You flew into the side of the barn at least a dozen times while you were learning, I’m pretty sure there’s still an impression of your face in the wall,” Lapis said as she adjusted her hold on Peridot to meet her eyes, her own twinkling with barely contained mirth.

“Can we just get going already?” Peridot grumbled, unable to refute the claim. “At a reasonably safe speed please,” she amended a moment later. Lapis laughed at that.

“Alright, but why don’t you check out the view as we go?” Lapis said as she set out at a leisurely pace and adjusted her hold on Dot to dip the gem towards the ground as they went, but Peridot latched on instead. “Peri you’re not gonna fall, I promise,” Lapis whispered in Peridot’s ear, her voice sincere, all traces of teasing gone.

Peridot loosened her grip at that and allowed herself to fall into a graceful dip, her legs wrapped around Lapis’ waist and her hands gripping her forearms as she leaned back and took in the landscape below. A small gasp escaped her lips at the sight.

“It’s beautiful,” Peridot murmured as they continued their steady pace towards Beach City.

“Yeah, Earth looks best from up high. Simpler,” Lapis replied. The countryside rolled out below them, quiet and peaceful as it slumbered beneath its blanket of twinkling white. Snow dusted trees and rolling white hills met their gaze and a little ways off Beach City sat cradled in the same embrace of the season. The Crystal Temple rose before it, head crowned in alabaster and form draped in frosted robes.

Dot was right, no matter what form the seasons gave it, Earth was always stunning. Always changing from one beautiful appearance to the next.

“Lapis, I believe I would be comfortable with an increase in velocity now that I’ve had a moment to grow accustomed to this,” Peridot offered.

“Oh? How about a trick or two while we’re at it? I get to show off a bit for our flight together don’t I?” Lapis replied with a mischievous lilt to her voice while pulling Peridot firmly against her body in preparation

“One trick. And a simple one if you please, Lazuli,” Peridot answered, obviously trying to put on a brave face for her girlfriend. Lapis felt Peridot’s grip tightening around her once again in anticipation.

“Don’t worry Dot, I’ve got you,” Lapis whispered into her ear. She put on a burst of speed then, the landscape below blurring slightly. Peridot let out a small squeak but otherwise kept her composure. Lapis adjusted her wings next and sent them into a lazy tilt to one side, a moment later she made a sharper adjustment and they went into a gently rolling corkscrew, spiraling their way through the air with the ground and sky changing places in a continuous loop. Peridot was tense for a few moments, her breath coming in quick bursts against Lapis’ neck, but eventually it evened out and Lapis felt her relax in her grip.

Then Peridot laughed. Not her normal, quirky nerd laugh. But a clear, high laugh that sent tingles through Lapis’ form. After a moment Lapis joined her, adding her own voice to Peridot’s mirth as the two of them spiraled in a happy blue-green tangle towards Beach City.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for chapter one. Chapter two is gonna be a doozy. As always comments and constructive criticism are both appreciated and desired.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And chapter two is here. It's a touch...long. XD
> 
> The drama really picks up here, but there's some fun too. Chapter 3 will go up at some point on Christmas day!
> 
> Hope you enjoy.

A short time later found the giddy pair over the festival site, a large stage and other celebratory odds and ends had been set up on the snow covered beach down the way from the Temple. People meandered all about, some helping set up and others apparently waiting for the show. Lapis flared her wings out wide and slowly lowered herself and Peridot to the ground just in front of the stage. No sooner had they touched down than a familiar voice rang out.

“Hey, hey! The love birds finally decided to fly in. Literally,” Amethyst said as she crunched her way through the snow towards them. Pearl and a tall, pink haired human Lapis had never seen before just behind her.

“Amethyst please,” Pearl said in mild rebuke. “Welcome you two, I’m glad you decided to join us, Steven and Connie will be overjoyed. They’re still helping Greg with the set up right now but I’m sure they’ll be around shortly.”

“Nice to meet you guys, love the matching scarves,” the mystery girl standing beside Pearl offered with a smile.

“Uh… Thanks,” Lapis answered awkwardly, rubbing her shoulder with one hand, already feeling a little out of her depth.

“Oh my, how rude of me. Lapis, Peridot, this is Sheena, Sheena this is Lapis and Peridot,” Pearl said, cutting into the short silence that had settled over the group.

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance, are you a friend of Steven’s father?” Peridot asked. This Sheena girl did have a punk rocker look about her, so that would make sense Lapis supposed.

“Nah, this is P’s girlfriend. She’s way cooler than her though, honestly I don’t know how Pierogi managed to snag her,” Amethyst said. At this Sheena burst out laughing, it was a nice laugh. Rich and warm.

“Oh you! I _invented_ cool, I’m the original rebel,” Pearl huffed, using one hand to muss a now laughing Amethyst’s hair.

“Hey! Watch the hair Miss Terrifying Renegade, it’s a carefully calculated mess!”

Some of the tension left Lapis’ shoulders at the display, Peridot was right, this was kinda nice.

“Oh! Peridot, I nearly forgot, would you mind coming with me to check over the sound system for the performance? I’ve been working on it with Greg and Sour Cream all morning and to be honest some of the additions Sour Cream insisted on have me worried,” Pearl asked, finally halting her attack on Amethyst’s hair and comfortably settling a slender arm around Sheena’s waist.

Peridot hesitated and looked up at Lapis with concern in her eyes, giving her hand a light squeeze. Lapis smiled down at her, as usual Peridot was always worried for her. “Go on, I’ll be fine,” Lapis answered the silent question, returning the squeeze.

“If you’re certain,” Peridot answered, releasing her hand and moving to join Pearl.

“Don’t worry P-Dot, I’ll keep Blueberry company, Pearl doesn’t want me backstage anyway,” Amethyst said, moving over to throw an arm around Lapis’ waist.

“Considering that you ate three extension cords this morning, no. No I do not. Just make sure you’re up there in time for the first song, we’d be lost without our drummer,” Pearl said playfully, and with that the three of them vanished around the back of the stage and left Lapis relatively alone with Amethyst.

“Man, everyone’s a couple now, I feel left out. Pearl and Sheena, Steven and Connie, Garnet and...Garnet. Don’t suppose there’s room for one more at that love nest you and Peri have going at the barn is there?” Amethyst asked while waggling her eyebrows as she lead Lapis through the sparse crowd of people meandering around the snowy beach.

Lapis snorted, Amethyst was too much. “You have to get Peridot’s permission first, I’m fine with it if she is,” she joked.

“Ha, I should ask just to see Peri freak out and—Hey! Vidalia! Over here!” Amethyst suddenly cut herself off as she waved down another human Lapis had never met before. Although to be fair she hadn’t met many. This one was a woman with rounded yellow hair that reminded Lapis of something she’d seen in their garden...but she couldn’t quite place it.

“Amethyst you purple pile of garbage, what are you up to? And who’s tall, blue and gorgeous there with you?” Vidalia called back as she traipsed through the snow to join them.

“You mean Blueberry here? This is Lapis, and don’t even bother, flattery ain’t gonna get ya anywhere with this stone cold betty,” Amethyst said with a grin. Lapis flipped the quartz’s long mop of hair over her face in retribution for that little remark.

“Lapis huh? Hmmm, blue gem lady, I don’t suppose you can do crazy things with water?” Vidalia asked, squinting at Lapis like she was considering a puzzle.

“Um...I guess?” Lapis answered, starting to feel uneasy again.

“Ha! You’re the one who threw my husband’s truck into Greg’s car wash aren’t you?” Vidalia said with a bark of laughter.

Lapis tensed for a moment, but Vidalia didn’t seem angry, only amused really. Lapis felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment at the memory of that event, technically it had been herself _and_ Peridot who threw the truck into the car wash but she saw no need to throw Peri under the bus along with herself. “Uh yeah...that was me. Sorry about that,” she answered sheepishly.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. You live in Beach City long enough and you get used to things like that, besides, according to Yellowtail a little green gremlin fixed it up better than new for him anyway,” Vidalia said with a wave of her hand.

Amethyst let out a loud guffaw at that and even Lapis couldn’t suppress a grin. “Uh V, that little green gremlin was Peridot, B-Berry’s girlfriend,” Amethyst said, pointing a thumb to a still amused Lapis. Peri could act like a gremlin sometimes. A very cute gremlin.

“Hey, Yellowtail’s words, not mine,” Vidalia responded with an apologetic smile. “So I guess that means you’re taken then?”

“Um...Yes?” Lapis answered, caught somewhere between wanting to laugh and simply wanting to stare at this surprising human. It was like having another Amethyst around.

“You are too incase you forgot V,” Amethyst snickered.

“You’re right, don’t tell Yellowtail I was flirting,” Vidalia stage whispered to Amethyst, hiding her mouth behind her hand. Lapis finally did laugh then. “I wouldn’t mind painting you sometime though if you’re interested Lapis, you’d make a great subject,” Vidalia continued easily.

“Oh yeah, your paintings! Lapis and Peridot are artsy too, they make cool toilet sculptures and all sorts of junk.”

“Oh really?” Vidalia said with a raised eyebrow.

“We call it Meep Morp,” Lapis replied. “Although we’ve never tried painting before.”

“Right on, maybe you and your girlfriend could swing by sometime and we could do a collab piece.”

“Only if I get to model, you know I’m the best model you’ve ever had V.”

“If by best you mean worst, than yeah, you’re right,” Vidalia said, giving Amethyst a playful punch in the shoulder.

“That...that might be fun. I’ll talk to Peridot about it,” Lapis said, and she surprised herself by actually meaning it.

“Cool! Okay guys I gotta scram, Onion is loose somewhere in this mess and I need to find him before he burns the stage down, don’t want to ruin Greg’s comeback tour. It was nice meeting you Lapis! Catch you later you walking garbage disposal, try not to screw up too badly on the drums up there,” Vidalia called with a wave as she moved off through the sparse crowd in the direction of the stage.

Onion! That’s what Vidalia’s hair reminded her of! Lapis realized as she waved after the woman. Although now she was wondering how an onion was going to manage to catch the stage on fire.

“See, this isn’t so bad is it Lappy?” Amethyst asked, giving her a nudge in the side with her elbow.

“No, no I guess it isn’t,” Lapis answered thoughtfully. There was some commotion near the stage then and a loud screeching over the speakers made Lapis wince and clench her teeth.

“Hello? Is this thing on? Sour Cream I thought you said—Oh! Hello my fine fellow Beach City citizens! It is with great pleasure that I, Mayor Dewey, welcome you all to the first annual Beach City Winterfest! I hope you all enjoy my brilliant idea for jumpstarting tourism during the off season!” An odd man wearing a stuffy suit along with a ridiculous fur hat announced to the gathered crowd, they seemed less than enthused.

“Ugh, it was Steven’s idea, that hack,” Amethyst grumbled at Lapis’ side.

“Now I’d like everyone to take note of the booths we have set up around the concert perimeter, be sure to support your local businesses! And be sure to support your amazing Mayor—”

“Start the show!” someone in the crowd shouted and Lapis saw a snowball fly past the obnoxious mayor’s head.

“Haha, enthusiastic crowd! The show will start in a few minutes everyone, enjoy Beach City Winterfest!” Mayor Dewey said as he hastily retreated from the stage.

“Alright Blue, that’s my cue, you gonna be alright out here until Peri finds ya?” Amethyst asked, her form glowing briefly as she shifted into the shape of an owl.

“I’ll be fine Amethyst. Peridot worries enough, I don’t need you fussing over me too,” Lapis answered with a roll of her eyes.

“Pfft, you know you love having Peri fawn over ya Lap Lap. Okay, I’m headed backstage, if anyone bugs ya just turn them into a snowman or something. And prepare to be wowed by my awesome drum skills,” Amethyst replied, somehow managing her signature toothy grin even with a beak. And with that she flew off towards the stage.

Lapis snorted as she watched her go, somehow she knew Steven would disapprove of Amethyst’s idea of turning people into snowmen. With a shake of her head she turned to the crowd to look for Dot, feeling far more relaxed than she could have hoped earlier this morning. A few moments later she spotted a triangle of pointy blonde hair moving towards her through the loosely packed concert goers.

“So, catch anything on fire back there?” Lapis greeted as Peridot joined her.

“Very funny Lazuli,” Peridot replied with a roll of her eyes.

“Heh, sorry Peri. But did everything go okay?”

“Yes actually. This ‘Sour Cream’ person’s modifications to the sound equipment were crude but surprisingly efficient. How about you?”

“Well, I got hit on so that was cool I guess?” Lapis answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

“You _what?_!” Peridot squeaked

* * *

Five minutes later found Peridot and Lapis standing off to one side of the stage as they watched Greg and the Crystal Gems do some last minute checks on their equipment. They hadn’t seen Connie or Steven yet but they figured they’d run into each other soon enough. Peridot was interested in Vidalia’s offer of a painting collaboration, after Lapis had assured her multiple times through barely stifled giggles that the flirting had been friendly teasing and nothing more, so that was something to look forward to.

Finally the opening riffs on Greg’s electric guitar signaled the start of the show. Pearl stood at his side with her violin, Garnet was a little behind playing the keytar and of course Amethyst was in the back on drums. One detail that widened Lapis’ eyes a bit was the sight of Pearl wearing a leather jacket, although she had to admit it looked good on her. As the song started and Greg sang out the first verse Lapis actually found herself nodding to the beat.

 

_“Some... say I have no direction, that I'm a light-speed distraction, but that's a knee-jerk reaction._

_Still, this is the final frontier, everything is so clear, to my destiny I steer.”_

 

It really was catchy Lapis thought, but the real shocker was when _Pearl_ leaned into the mic and started singing the next verse.

 

_“This life in the stars is all I've ever known,_

_Stars and stardust in infinite space is my only home.”_

 

Amethyst could be heard shouting “Yeah! Sing it P!” in the background as her hands danced over her drum set.

“Is...Is Pearl singing a duet with Steven’s dad?” Lapis asked Peridot, her mouth hanging open in disbelief. The leather jacket was one thing, but this?

“It appears so, they actually compliment each other quite well, at least Pearl isn’t crying,” Peridot answered thoughtfully.

Having a girlfriend must have really loosened Pearl up Lapis thought. While she and Peridot had been having their disbelieving exchange Greg and Pearl had moved on to singing the next verse together.

 

_“But the moment that I hit the stage, thousands of voices are calling my name_

_And I know in my heart it's been worth it all of the while.”_

 

The pair of them sang out the rest of the song like that, alternating verses and coming together to sing simultaneously throughout, ending with Pearl and Greg leaning against each other and laughing. Lapis found herself cheering right along with the rest of the crowd then, they honestly made a great duo. Beside her Peridot added in a few especially loud cheers for Amethyst, the purple drummer waved in response, and towards the middle of the throng Pearl’s girlfriend actually threw a flower on stage. Which a blushing Pearl knelt to pick up.

“The musical piece has some questionable ideas about space and I fail to see the similarity between a comet and a person, but it was enjoyable nonetheless,” Peridot said beside her as Greg and the gems on stage took a moment to prepare for their next song.

“I think you might be taking it just a touch too literally there Per-bear,” Lapis laughed as she threw an arm around Peridot’s shoulders and pulled her against her side.

“Hey guys!”

“You two having fun?”

Lapis and Peridot both turned to see Connie and Steven walking towards them from around the side of the stage. Connie in a forest green hoodie and Steven in a puffy pink jacket.

“Our double-date partners finally join us, were you two hiding backstage together?” Lapis teased as she gave Connie the snarkiest grin she could manage. Once again poor Steven turned pink, and not from the cold.

“No! W-we were just—”

“We hung out backstage to make sure everything went smoothly for the first song. Nice matching scarves by the way, great cutesy couple vibe,” Connie retorted, cutting Steven off and smirking back at Lapis. Peridot’s face flushed at this remark and she brought a hand up to cover her eyes.

“I wish you two would cease your childish game of embarrassing comments, Steven and myself seem to be the only ones suffering,” Peridot groaned.

“Well to be fair I am a child, what’s Lapis’ excuse?” Connie retorted.

“Got me there Con-con, how about a truce? For Peri and Steven’s sake?”

“Agreed.”

The two of them shook on it, both grinning from ear to ear at their respective partners.

“So guys, wanna hit up some of the festival booths together? Mr. Smiley set up a ring toss,” Steven asked.

“How about we stop for something hot to drink first, just watching Lapis walk around barefoot is making me shiver,” Connie said.

“Don’t knock until you try it,” Lapis responded while wiggling her blue toes in the fluffy white.

“If I tried it I wouldn't have any toes left by nightfall,” Connie grumbled.

So the four of them began wandering the festival booths together, their first quest to find hot drinks. Lapis had been worried about dealing with crowds but in reality the place wasn’t exactly packed, and the people they did wander by were usually ready with a friendly smile and a wave but otherwise left them alone. It wasn’t so bad. After a few minutes they came across a booth called “Fish Stew Pizza and Cocoa”. Connie and Steven both ordered steaming cups of hot chocolate and a slice of pizza each while Lapis and Peridot waited.

Or tried to wait.

A man with rather large hair who was running the booth kept insisting that a slice of pizza and some cocoa would be the perfect addition to their date. Peridot tried to explain to him in her logical way, and with a slight blush, her being embarrassed when people pointed out they were a couple would never stop being cute, that they were gems and thus “didn’t require sustenance” but he was quite persistent. At least until a short, older woman who appeared to be his superior in some way came out from the back of the booth and started scolding him for being rude. They made their escape during the small woman’s lecture.

They continued their circuit through the grounds. Lapis chatting easily with Steven about recent morps she’d been working on while Connie and Peridot got into a rather heated debate about the merits of _Camp Pining Hearts_ versus a show called _Under the Knife._ Evidently they were each trying to talk the other into watching their prefered show, Lapis and Steven both steered clear of that argument. They visited other booths along the way. One was tucked off in a corner, almost like the owner was trying to hide it, and wasn’t really selling anything at all. Instead the yellow haired, glasses wearing young man who ran it was handing out pamphlets and shouting something about the Beach City Yeti conspiracy to anyone who would listen. He seemed to know Steven and Connie because when he noticed the two of them they both hid their faces in their jackets and ushered Lapis and Peridot along quickly.

There was a booth selling the ugliest sweaters Lapis had ever seen, not that she’d seen many but still. Steven ended up buying a green one for Peridot featuring several snowmen across the front, she insisted she was going to modify it for Pumpkin but Lapis knew her better than that. They ran into Vidalia again, she was running a face painting booth. Steven and Connie each got a matching pink butterfly on their cheeks and after some convincing they managed to get Lapis and Peridot to join in as well. They each got a maple leaf painted on their cheeks from the _Camp Pining Hearts_ flag, Lapis’ was green while Peridot’s was blue. Lapis had to admit they looked pretty cute, although the entire time she was getting her face painted a small, round human with unsettling eyes kept staring at her from the back of the booth. She would have been worried but he seemed to be securely tied to a chair.

Vidalia sent them off with a smile, and a parting comment to Peridot telling her to hold onto Lapis because she was a good catch. That set Peridot’s face on fire and had Lapis laughing all the way to the next booth. Which turned out to be the ring toss run by the man named Mr. Smiley that Steven had mentioned earlier. He lived up to his name, although his smile seemed to be strained at times and once he laid eyes on Steven he seemed to break out in a sweat. Which was odd considering the weather, at least from what Lapis knew of humans. Connie wanted to go first but Peridot insisted she be the one since she supposedly had experience with this type of game.

Less than a minute later Mr. Smiley was no longer smiling.

“No cheating gem magic allowed!” he called after them as they made their way towards the back of the festival area, having just been banned from the ring toss game.

“Thanks a lot Peridot, your metal powers just added cheater to my otherwise sterling reputation,” Connie grumbled as they walked.

“I don’t understand his objections, I used my powers at his primary place of business previously and received no reprimand,” Peridot replied.

“Yeah...but he was kinda asleep and didn’t notice that time Peridot,” Steven added.

“Well, in my research I have found that it is most often the purveyors of such attractions that are less than scrupulous so I refuse to feel any sort of guilt for employing my abilities.”

“I’m with Peri on this one guys, anyone who smiles that much isn’t exactly trustworthy,” Lapis added.

“Awww. Mr. Smiley is really nice guys, don’t—”

“Hey Steven! Connie! What are you guys up to?” a dark skinned girl called out, interrupting Steven.

“Whoa, it’s the carwash ladies. And the ever cheerful Steven Universe and his companion Connie,” a boy beside her wearing dark shades added.

“Carwash ladies? You mean the people who threw my stepdad’s truck into that sign? Far out,” A pale skinned, blonde haired teen who vaguely reminded Lapis of Vidalia chimed in.

“Oh, hey guys!” Steven greeted as their two groups linked up.

“And who might these adolescent humans be?” Peridot asked.

“Oh! Lapis, Peridot this is Buck, Jenny and Sour Cream,” Steven said with a flourish of his hands in introduction.

“Ah, so you’re the Sour Cream, I commend you on your modifications to the festival’s sound equipment. They are crude and primitive but also efficient and creative,” Peridot said.

“Uh...thanks?” Sour Cream responded.

“So, what’s happening guys? Enjoying Winterfest?” Jenny asked.

“Well we were...until someone got us banned from Mr. Smiley’s ring toss for cheating,” Connie replied while side-eying Peridot, evidently still grumpy about that whole affair.

“Rules are a product of the establishment designed to restrict your being and prevent you from becoming who you were meant to be. Good job,” Buck responded.

“Errr...Thank you?” Peridot replied, seeming not entirely sure how to interpret that.

“Okay, enough waxing rebellious y’all, Steven we’re gonna have a snowball war, you in?” Jenny asked.

“Yeah man, we were just looking for more people to join in. The snow is perfect for it right now, it’ll be totally rad,” Sour Cream added.

“Oh, uh sure that sounds like lots of fun. How about the rest of you guys?” Steven said turning around to face them.

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind blowing off some steam,” Connie said.

Peridot looked up at Lapis and Lapis gave her a thumbs up, why not? It could be fun, and the last snowball fight she was in had ended pretty well she recalled with a fond smile.

“We will also partake in this recreational frivolity,” Peridot answered.

“Cool, so first thing we need are teams...Wait, can water lady here control snow too?” Buck asked.

“That would be a yes,” Lapis answered as she plopped a small snowball on Connie’s head with a twitch of her finger.

“Hey!”

“Hmmmm. Lapis’ team is gonna need a handicap,” Jenny said.

“Steven and I will join you three versus Lapis and Peridot, that should be pretty fair considering their powers,” Connie offered, while sticking her tounge out at Lapis.

“Con-con I’m hurt, no loyalty for the Crystal Temps?” Lapis teased.

“I was a Jam Bud before I was a Crystal Temp, sorry Lapis,” Connie replied with a grin while dragging Steven over to the three teens.

“Well, I’ll need some materials to make full use of my powers in this mock battle…” Peridot mused aloud while scanning the concert area. A flick of her wrist brought a garbage lid flying over to land by her feet, which she promptly stepped up on and began levitating. “This will do for mobility, now as for defense and offense…” There was a popping sound and then a few creaks, Lapis looked over to the stage to see two metal sheets detach from the far side of the flooring and zoom across the grounds to hover above Peridot. Greg and the gems were preparing for another song, they were taken a bit by surprise.

“My stage!” Greg inadvertently shouted into the microphone.

“Peridot you put those back this instant!” Pearl squawked into the microphone right after. Lapis swore she could hear Amethyst laughing, even this far back from the stage.

“The components I have removed have no bearing on the structural integrity of your performance platform, I shall return them when my task is complete I assure you!” Peridot shouted back. Pearl looked like she was going to insist, but then Garnet put a hand on her shoulder and gave Pearl one of her rare smiles. Pearl rolled her eyes but that seemed to mollify the gem and they all went back to song prep.

“Cool. Still, I feel kinda off about this. Even with freaky powers it’s still five on two,” Buck said.

“Well, I can help ease your conscience about that,” Lapis replied. Lapis stretched both arms out to the side then, the snow all around her vibrated for a moment, then she clenched her fists and it took shape. Three figures rose from the snow to face their opponents, perfect snow copies of Buck, Jenny and Sour Cream.

“I’m suddenly having a profound existential crisis on the nature of my individuality,” Buck said while staring at his clone. Lapis couldn’t help but snicker.

“Way cool man,” Sour Cream added.

“Yeah, yeah, philosophize about it later, fight now!” Jenny shouted.

And with that their battle began.

Steven and Connie, perhaps knowing what to expect, took cover behind a snow mound and began their assault defensively. The trio of teens however decided to face them head on.

Lapis and Peridot soon taught them better.

First Lapis stopped the trio of snowballs headed for her face in midair, still spinning, and then sent them right back at the three. Softly, she wasn’t trying to hurt anyone. Then her cool kid clones, Lapis snorted at her own internal pun, held out their hands and started rapid firing loosely packed clumps of snow from their arms. Lapis essentially had them functioning as walking turrets.

“Guys! You can’t take them on like that, get to cover!” Connie shouted as she and Steven threw their own barrage to draw Lapis’ attention. The three teens obliged, diving behind another snow hill adjacent to the one Steven and Connie were hiding behind.

Then Peridot swooped in and dumped a pile of snow on their heads from one of her metal sheets, she was using them like big scoops. “Nyahahaha! Lapis isn’t the only gem you have to be concerned with,” she called. A moment later she let out a high pitched squeal as she nearly lost her perch on her floating garbage lid, Steven and Connie had unleashed a volley directly at Peridot’s feet in an effort to take her out of the sky. Lapis couldn’t have that, she directed her snow clones to lay down some covering fire.

“Steven bubble us! We have to take out their support troops!” Lapis heard Connie yell from behind their barricade. She raised an eyebrow, this should be interesting. A moment later a pink bubble containing two yelling kids charged through the snow barricade and handily mowed down Lapis’ snow trio.

“Nice try guys, you really _flattened_ the competition,” Lapis called, she was greeting by several low groans. “I hate to stop you when you’re on such a _roll_ (louder groans this time) but you’ll have to do better than that.” Lapis flexed her arms then and her three copies of Buck, Jenny and Sour Cream reformed right in front of Steven and Connie’s bubble.

And immediately sent it careening into the pile of snow the three teens were hiding behind. Connie's indignant squawk as she rolled along was pretty satisfying Lapis had to admit.

“Lazuli, your puns may be the cruelest form of retaliation you’ve offered thus far,” Peridot said, hovering above Lapis and watching in amusement as their opponents struggled to recover.

“Why thank you Peri, I try,” Lapis answered with a smirk.

Their little battle went on for awhile after that. Connie, Steven and their friends actually managed a decent recovery. Jenny, Buck and Sour Cream took Peridot out of the air once using the same tactic Connie and Steven had tried earlier and Connie got her revenge on Lapis. The sneaky girl actually _tunneled_ through the snow and while Lapis was distracted she snatched her ankles right out from under her. Lapis couldn’t help but laugh after she got over the shock of eating a faceful of snow, that was a good one, but it didn’t stop her from launching Connie into the air with a gentle snow hand to land on her team’s fortifications in response.

Evidently that was the last straw for Connie.

“Alright, enough is enough! Steven, are you with me?” Connie called, standing up in the melee and extending a hand towards her partner.

“I’m with ya Jam Bud,” Steven answered with a huge smile.

They clasped hands then and Lapis could only stare as the world was enveloped in rose tinged light. It twinkled and danced across the sparkling snow before Steven and Connie’s forms flared and merged, becoming someone else entirely. When Stevonnie materialized out of the light Lapis couldn’t help but notice how happy they seemed…

“Lapis? Lapis are you alright?” Peridot said behind her and Lapis jumped slightly as she felt her barn mate’s hand on her lower back. She got the impression Peridot had been trying to get her attention for a bit.

“I’m...I’m fine,” Lapis managed. And she was, she was just surprised. She’d heard about Stevonnie before, it was just a shock to meet them like this. That was it.

“Are you certain?” Peridot asked, coming around to stand in front of her with concern etched across every corner of her face.

“We have a snowball fight to win remember?” Lapis answered with the cockiest smirk she could plaster across her face. She was fine. She _was_.

“Wooooo yeah! Go Stevonnie!” Jenny cried out as the fusion took to the battlefield.

“You guys ready to lose?” they called across the beach to Lapis and Peridot, a confident smile connecting the twin pink butterflies painted across each of their cheeks.

“Dot give me some cover, I think it’s time to end this,” Lapis said, a genuine grin coming across her face now as her competitive streak kicked in.

“Roger!” Peridot called and she took to the air in front of Lapis, blocking fire from the teen trio and doing her best to hit Stevonnie with fresh scoops of snow. But Stevonnie easily blocked Peri’s assault with their glowing, pink shield.

Lapis closed her eyes while all this was happening and reached out to every particle of snow in her immediate area. Subtle vibrations traveled through the fluffy white all around her and then Lapis’ eyes snapped open.

And with them what seemed like an entire beach’s worth of snow rose up all around her. In fact for several dozens yards around Lapis one could see the bare sand. Lapis clenched her fists and the floating fluff condensed into several hundred floating balls, loosely packed again to avoid injury, but still an intimidating sight.

“Block this!” she yelled as she swept both arms forward, sending an absolute torrent of snow at Stevonnie. The teen trio screamed and ducked out of sight but Stevonnie stood their ground. There was a brilliant flash of pink before Lapis lost sight of them in the deluge.

“Victory is ours!” Peridot cried in front of Lapis, pumping her tiny arms into the air. Lapis was about to join her but then the air settled and her mouth fell open.

Instead of being buried under a mountain of snow Stevonnie was still standing, and they were holding an absolutely massive pink shield. Except...it was inverted? They’d turned the shield around and used it like a massive bowl to catch all the snow Lapis had thrown!

“This...fight...isn’t....over...yet!” Stevonnie shouted, the strain evident in their voice. And then with a running lurch they _heaved_ the massive mound of snow straight at Lapis and Peridot.

“Lapis do something!” Peridot shrieked as she brought her woefully inadequate metal sheets in front of them in an attempt at a shield.

But Lapis was still shocked at the turn of events, still amazed that Stevonnie had managed to catch all of that snow. By the time she snapped out of it and raised her arms it was too late. Lapis, Peridot and the three clones were buried in an avalanche of white.

* * *

“Victory!” Stevonnie shouted from atop the small snow mountain. Lapis sputtered and shook snow out of her hair as she dug her upper torso free from the mound. Peridot was spitting and sputtering right beside her until they both collapsed about halfway out of the snow bank virtually right on top of each other.

Lapis’ face was beaming as she looked up at Stevonnie, who was now being hoisted into the air by Buck, Jenny and Sour Cream in a sort of victory dance. Yeah, they’d lost, but that had been a lot of _fun_. Considering her expectations for the day Lapis was calling it a win. She looked over at Dot then and pulled back a little, Peri had perhaps the biggest smile on her face that Lapis had ever seen and she was staring right at her.

“What are you smiling at you dork? We lost,” Lapis teased.

“You,” Peridot answered, breaking out into a joyful laugh and leaning in closer against Lapis’ chest.

“Me?”

“Yes, it’s nice to see you laughing, to see you having fun Lapis. I’m gratified that this experience has been a positive one for you,” Peridot answered, staring into Lapis’ eyes and still wearing that smile.

“Pfft, be quiet you nerd,” Lapis huffed, averting her gaze, for once being the one to feel her cheeks heating in embarrassment. But Dot did something completely unexpected then.

She leaned forward and kissed Lapis.

Lapis’ eyes widened and her breath caught, Peridot rarely if ever initiated and certainly not in _public_ , but soon all those thoughts fled her mind as a bubbly warmth spread out from her gem and through her entire form. She shut her eyes and leaned in, returning the kiss in earnest. Relishing the feel of Peridot’s soft, sure lips on her own.

A pleasant fuzziness began to fill her mind then, she felt like she was floating through billowing clouds of warmth. Her mind started to slip and she began to lose focus, it almost felt like she was falling asleep. But she didn’t care, she eagerly embraced the sensation as she wrapped her arms around Peridot and continued their kiss.

Stevonnie finally brought her out of it.

Or rather what Stevonnie was saying.

“Oh my _gosh_! They’re gonna fuse! New fusion! New fusion! New fusion!”

_New what?_

Lapis’ eyes snapped open and she found herself staring into Peridot’s. Peridot looked nearly as surprised as she felt but there was also an expression of profond elation written across her features. And...relief? Peridot was also _glowing,_ her gemstone was especially bright, and as Lapis glanced down she realized she was too. Bright blue and green intertwined together, and between them a hazy distortion where their forms were beginning to merge.

A dozen emotions swirled through Lapis as she tried to make sense of this. Elation, excitement, confusion, fear. This felt wonderful, she didn’t know fusion could be like this. This was nothing like…

Nothing like Malachite.

And then another emotion roared through her to overwhelm all the others.

Panic.

 

_You can’t lie to me, I’ve seen what you’re capable of. I thought I was a brute, but you...you’re a monster._

 

The glow began to fade around them as Lapis pulled back from the embrace, the memory of Jasper and Malachite leaving her reeling. Peridot’s face shifted from an expression of sheer joy, to confusion, to hurt... No! Lapis couldn’t do this, she was already causing Peridot pain!

 

_C’mon, just say yes._

 

_“NO!”_ Lapis shrieked, wings bursting from her back as she exploded into the air sending waves of snow flying all around her. She couldn’t breath, she didn’t _need_ to breath, but she was still desperately trying to draw in breath as she clenched her fingers in her hair. Then she looked down.

Stevonnie was gone, Steven and Connie lay sprawled out in the snow where they’d been, thrown back by Lapis’ outburst. Their three friends were in a similarly disheveled state. And Peridot...

Peridot was standing there, looking up at her. But her face wasn’t full of fear or judgement, simply concern as she held an arm up towards Lapis, as if she were reaching for her. Even now, even after Lapis had almost done something so terrible to her, Peridot was only worried about her.

She couldn’t take it.

“Peridot...I’m sorry. I...I didn't mean to...” she called down, fists clenched at her sides and eyes hidden behind her messy bangs as anger and self-loathing roiled through her. Peridot tried to say something but Lapis didn’t hear. She flared her wings and snapped them back, sending shockwaves through the air as she rocketed away from the beach. Away from Peridot.

She _wouldn’t_ hurt her.

Not Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lapis...Lapis you can't just fly away from all your problems. I mean you _can_ , but you shouldn't. :(
> 
> Also I headcanon Vidalia as Bi and a playful flirt. Something Yellowtail is aware of, implying that she's unfaithful in a closed relationship is not my intention here. Incase that was unclear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And last chapter is up. I hope everyone has had a lovely holiday season and that you all have a Happy New Year!
> 
> If you enjoy this work and want to make my holiday season a little brighter perhaps consider leaving a comment. ;)

“Lapis! Lapis wait! Lapis don’t go!” Peridot yelled as she desperately scrambled on all fours out of the shallow snow crater Lapis’ outburst had left behind. Only then did she think about summoning her garbage lid and giving chase, but Lapis was already out of sight. “Lapis…”

Peridot stood there, dejectedly staring into the sky where Lapis had vanished. This was bad. Lapis had never been this upset before. Of all the cloddy things Peridot could have done, fusion! She was such a pebble! Her self-recrimination was interrupted by a pressure on her back. It was Steven, he was hugging her.

“I’m sorry Peridot,” Steven said shakily, burying his face in her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Connie added, coming up to stand beside her.

“No,” Peridot said. She stood there with Steven hugging her and Connie’s silent support for some time. Her mind racing, trying to do what it did best, find the solution to the problem. But she couldn’t find a solution this time. “Gah! I’m such a fool! _Why_ did I do that? This is all my fau—”

“This isn’t your fault and you didn’t do that, you both did, it takes two to fuse,” a low, rich voice called behind her. Steven released Peridot then and she turned to see Garnet walking towards them, Amethyst not far behind.

“Heya P-pod,” Amethyst said somberly, walking up to throw an arm around her shoulder as Garnet came to a stop in front of her.

“This was going to happen Peridot, it was only a matter of time, now you need to—”

“Wait, you _knew_ this would happen?” Peridot interrupted indignantly.  “Why didn’t you warn me! What’s the clodding point of future vision if—”

“If I had warned you things would have been worse, for both of you, this was the best possible outcome. This _needed_ to happen,” Garnet interrupted calmly.

“Peri, I know she’s infuriating and stuff with all the wise and mysterious crap but listen to G okay? She’s usually right about this sorta thing,” Amethyst added, giving Peridot’s shoulders a squeeze.

“What course of action do I take now?” Peridot asked, letting out a sigh and with it all her anger as she leaned into Amethyst.

“You talk to Lapis,” Garnet said simply.

“Talk to her? But I don’t even know her loca—”

“She’s at the barn, on the roof to be specific, she feels safe there,” Garnet interrupted.

“Oh,” Peridot mumbled. “What...what do I say to her? I don’t want to mess this up any further.”

“That’s the problem Peridot, you always say what you think Lapis needs to hear and it isn’t good for either of you. She doesn’t need that, she needs _you_. And you need her. Just be honest with her, tell her how you feel. You two have to learn how to talk about your problems,” Garnet said, crouching down to be on eye level with Peridot, her visor fading to reveal three compasion filled eyes.

“O-okay,” Peridot said, setting her jaw in determination.

“This won’t be an instant fix, Lapis is dealing with a lot—”

“Oh yeah, Lappy has issues alright and that’s coming from _me_ ,” Amethyst cut in.

“Lapis is dealing with a lot right now, but if you talk to each other and honestly communicate it’ll all work out in the end, I promise. You two are good for each other,” Garnet continued with a reassuring smile.

“Alright, I’m going. Thank you...all of you,” Peridot said to her friends as she summoned a garbage lid and prepared to take to the air.

“Good luck Peridot,” Steven said, giving her another hug.

“Yeah, tell Lapis she owes me a rematch, her snow tsunami was cheating,” Connie added with a grin.

“Go get your girl Peridot!” Amethyst shouted. Garnet just smiled at her and nodded. Peridot nodded back and gave Amethyst one last squeeze before taking a deep breath to steady her nerves and taking to the sky.

“I’m coming Lapis,” she whispered into the chill air as she sped towards the barn and towards the gem who meant so much to her.

* * *

Connie watched Peridot until she faded out of sight, then with a knowing smile she turned to Garnet. “So, what you were basically saying is that Lapis and Peridot need to take a moment to think of just…” she trailed off and Steven took the cue to finish her thought.

“Flexibility, love and trust!”

Garnet smiled down at both of them before she replaced her shades with a wave of her hand. “Something like that, you two would know,” she said. “Now come on, Amethyst and I have a show to continue and you two should enjoy the rest of the festival.”

And with that they turned back towards the crowd.

* * *

Peridot fidgeted at the base of the barn wall, she’d flown in low so she was pretty sure Lapis hadn’t spotted her. She was mulling over what she should say, being honest was far easier said than done, when sounds from above interrupted her pacing. Deep, shaky breathing, sniffling and...stifled sobs.

Lapis was crying.

In all their time together at the barn Peridot had never seen Lapis cry.

Peridot took a deep breath and looked up to where she knew Lapis was sitting. It was time to stop hesitating. “Lapis? May I come up?” she called. There was a sharp intake of breath and more sniffles as Peridot imagined Lapis was hastily scrubbing her face of tears before she finally answered.

“Always Peri.”

Peridot stepped onto her garbage lid and lifted herself up to the edge of the roof. Lapis was sitting near the peak, arms wrapped around her legs and face buried in her knees. Peridot felt an immediate surge of relief, she’d known Lapis was here but it was still good to lay eyes on her again.

“Lapis I’m—”

“I’m sorry Peridot,” Lapis interrupted.

“Sorry? Lapis, sorry for what?”

“For this. For me. For everything. For always being a problem. For never bringing anything to...to us. I’m just a burden you’ve been taking care of all this—”

“No!” Peridot shouted and that made Lapis look up at her, fresh lines of tears were trickling down her cheeks. The green maple leaf on her right cheek was a mess. “You’re not a burden Lapis, you’ve never been a burden. You make morps with me, you watch _Camp Pining Hearts_ with me, you encourage me and go along with all of my crazy ideas. You’re _here_ with me Lapis.”

“That...that doesn’t mean I’m not a burden Peridot. Just being here and doing things with you doesn’t make up for the way I’ve weighed you down. I’m just some gem who wandered into your home and decided to stay, worse, I tried to kick you out at first,” Lapis laughed bitterly.

“Which was understandable given our history together at the time, although I am grateful you reversed your decision on my eviction,” Peridot countered with a smile, struggling to inject some levity into her voice. “Lapis this barn isn’t my home. You are,” she continued with all the sincerity she could muster.

Lapis stared at her for a moment, then a small hiccuping laugh broke through her tears. “Peridot that is the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said to me, I can’t wait to tell Amethyst,” she said while wiping at her eyes.

“Perhaps, but it’s also the truth,” Peridot responded, coming to sit next to Lapis and lay a hand on her knee. But a dark cloud passed over Lapis’ face at the physical contact, sweeping away the laughter.

“But I almost fused with you...I almost hurt you,” Lapis grated out.

“Hurt me? Lapis you didn’t hurt me.”

“But I would have! Fusing with me is terrible, I would have chain—”

“Fusing with you would have been wonderful!” Peridot shouted. “Lapis I was ecstatic just to know I _could_ fuse with you. That being unable to fuse wasn’t just another broken Era 2 deficiency I had to live with. It was...It was such a relief to realize that.”

“Broken? Peridot there’s nothing wrong with being an Era 2 gem! There’s nothing wrong with _you_ ,” Lapis countered angrily. “I’m the _broken_ one. If you knew what it was like to fuse with me, if you knew what I did to her...You wouldn’t want to be anywhere near me.”

“Lapis...you know that’s not true.”

“You don’t know what I did to her, you don’t know who I really am! What I’m capable of!” Lapis shouted, she was standing now and Peridot rose to face her.

“You’re Lapis Lazuli! You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and more!” Peridot shouted right back. Garnet was right, Peridot had been avoiding subjects like this. Refusing to voice her own feelings for fear of upsetting Lapis and it was bad for both of them. “I know what you did to Jasper. You caged her, controlled her, lashed out at her. You poured all of your rage and hatred into her and it was _wrong._ But what she did to you was wrong as well and stars above, you’re allowed to _forgive_ yourself Lapis.”

“Forgive myself? I don't deserve forgiveness,” Lapis hissed, taking a step back from Peridot.

“Yes you do. Lapis you realize what you did was wrong. You regret it. When you were given the opportunity to return to that relationship, to return to Malachite, you refused. You refused for yourself _and_ Jasper. Lapis I know it’s difficult, but it’s time to let go,” Peridot said.

“I...I can’t. I might hurt someone if I do, I might hurt you,” Lapis mumbled, falling further into herself and taking another step back.

“Lapis do you trust me?”

“Wha-what?”

“Do you trust me?!” Peridot yelled, trying her best to get through to Lapis.

“Of course I trust you! What I don't trust is myself!” Lapis snapped back.

“Well I do. I trust you Lapis Lazuli and you’d never harm me. You’re not Malachite, _we’re_ not Malachite. Please realize that. I need you Lapis,” Peridot cried, feeling tears spring to her own eyes as she stepped forward and wrapped Lapis in the tightest hug she could manage. Afraid to let go, afraid of losing her. After a few moments of shocked silence Lapis returned the embrace.

“Peridot...Peridot I'm sorry,” Lapis said, kneeling down and pulling Peridot closer to her. “I...I still don’t think I’m ready to fuse, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready to fuse, but it’s good to know...I’m happy to know that you’d want to. That you want me. That...that you trust me.”

“That’s fine Lapis. We can fuse when you’re ready, and if you’re never ready that’s fine too. And of course I want you you clod,” Peridot sniffled against Lapis’ chest.

“Look at us, both blubbering like a couple of newly emerged gems,” Lapis said with a shaky laugh. “Let’s go inside and make sure none of your drones blew up on Pumpkin.”

“Okay,” Peridot said with a sniffle filled laugh of her own.

* * *

Lapis was tired. Tired but also content. She lay in her hammock in the barn, Pumpkin safely curled up in her lap soundly asleep, and nestled beside her...

Nestled beside her was the most important person in her life.

“We’ve really got to work on this honest communication thing Peri, this was exhausting,” Lapis said as she pulled Peridot closer and nestled her chin in the small gem’s triangular hair.

“Agreed,” Peridot slurred drowsily as she snuggled up closer to Lapis.

“Are you...are you actually falling asleep? You never sleep,” Lapis asked incredulously.

“As Amethyst would say, there’s a first time for everything,” Peridot mumbled.

“That sounds waaaaay too boring for an Amethyst saying,” Lapis quipped.

“Perhaps, nevertheless I fully intend to experience this temporary period of unconsciousness for myself.”

“Am I really that exhausting?” Lapis teased.

“Laaaapis,” Peridot whined.

“Sorry, sorry, poor taste on my part all things considered, but before you drift off to dreamland promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Let’s be open with each other from now on. I’ll still lean on you, stars know I’d fall down if I didn’t, but I want you to be able to lean on me too Dot. No more holding back okay?” Lapis asked, her mind flying back to Peridot’s Era 2 self doubts on the roof.

“I...I promise Lapis.”

“Alright, nighty night Periwinkle, even if it is the middle of the afternoon,” Lapis replied. A pleasant silence fell over the barn then, Lapis wrapped her arms around Peridot and relished in their shared warmth. Just as she was beginning to drift off Peridot moved her palm to gently caress Lapis’ gem, she cracked open her eyes and looked down to see a drowsy Peridot staring up at her.

“Lapis, I’m glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, me too Peri. Me too.”

Peridot’s eyes slowly fell shut after that and her breathing evened out into the peaceful rhythm of slumber. Lapis leaned down and planted a light kiss on Peridot’s gemstone before she allowed her own heavy eyelids to close. Her last thought before consciousness fled her was…

_I’m here._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that _Changing Tides_ comes to a close. A very heartfelt thanks to anyone who has followed this small series from the start. I've grown rather attached to Lapis, hard to tell I know, so I've enjoyed exploring and addressing her issues in my own way with these works. Even if they have gone off the rails of canon now. Heh. Lapidot is life and all that too. :P
> 
> Honestly this fic was a touch messy and really ran away from me at times, not sure how well I wrangled it back into focus but it is what it is. I tried to mix Lapis' trauma with fusion in with also addressing the communication issues in the relationship she and Peridot have. There was a touch of Peri's insecurities thrown in for good measure. Hopefully all that came across at least somewhat coherently. XD
> 
> There's also the whole "Lapis is abusive towards Peridot." thing that floated around the fandom for awhile. I think the Crewniverse has solidly hammered the nails in the coffin for that line of thinking through various statements and the podcast on "Raising the Barn" but I am _more_ than willing to slam a few more home. With a sledge hammer if need be. XD Which was another goal of this work, just with a slightly calmer tone than the vent fic I posted a little while ago...
> 
> Okay enough rambling from me! That's it for now, and maybe next time I'll actually get to one of those non-Lapidot fics I mentioned awhile ago. >_>


End file.
